There was a Big Affair at Ben Siegel’s Reptile Store north of Miami recently when 30 of the future leaders of America (young adults) competed in a roach-eating contest. The grand prize was a python and was won by a 32-year-old of Palm Beach man.
PETA (is that People Eating Tasty Animals?) and other animal rights groups became famous for defense of whales, spotted owls, baby seals (no concern for baby humans), snail darters and yellow belly sapsuckers, but where do they stand on cockroaches? (Of course, I doubt that they would actually stand on the defenseless creatures.) It is a serious question: did PETA know about the contest and that the contestants were eating live roaches? My sources could not confirm whether the live roaches were eaten with or without a special sauce.
If the roaches had to be dead, must they have died of natural causes? Would it have been acceptable if they had been crushed? If it was alright for disturbed humans to eat dead roaches, would it have mattered how the roaches left this world? Did PETA even know about this cruel contest? Aren’t they concerned about less impressive creatures? PETA sure makes a big deal about dogs, deer, and dolphin; wolves; whales, and wallabies; bats, bears, and beavers; crabs, crows, and cheetahs but not the cockroach!
So why all this discrimination against roaches? Sounds like elitism to me and the state legislature should hold hearings to guarantee equal rights among creeping, crawling creatures. I’m not referring to politicians, but to cockroaches. But come to think of it…
Did the Florida Board of Health approve and supervise the contest? After all, they are the last protection between the consumer and what is consumed whether it is roasts or roaches. Is a license required to have a roach-eating contest and if so, what is the cost? I assume the owner must display the license in a prominent place so all contestants can be assured that all state requirements have been met. What are those requirements? If there aren’t any regulations then what is going on? How dare the legislature not jump into the roach-eating business. Let’s have some new regulations.
Is there an open season on roaches in Florida and if so, how many can a hunter (or is he a “roacher”) take in a day? If he takes more than his limit, is he fined? Does he lose his “roach pouch” and lose his license? How much does the license cost, and is an out-of-state license available?
Are the roaches hunted with a nail at the end of a stick or is it kosher to simply step on the running creatures with a number 12 brogan? But then, that would be messy to eat such a mashed creature.
With many species, only the males can be hunted, so is that true with roaches? But then, how does an honest hunter (as opposed to a poacher who wouldn’t care) delineate between the male and female? Is the male roach, like the male peacock, adorned with shocking beauty or is he dull, dirty, and dismal like the females (roaches, of course,) that most of us know about?
So where was PETA in all this, after all they have always taken the position that all animals, not just the cute, furry ones, need protection from thoughtless, crude, cruel, hateful, humans? Surely some state law if not federal law was broken during the contest.
I may antagonize some folk by reminding my readers that God would not approve roach eating for He gave instructions about eating in Lev. 11:43, “Ye shall not make yourselves abominable with any creeping thing that creepeth, neither shall ye make yourselves unclean with them, that ye should be defiled thereby.” That settles it for me. I won’t be competing in a roach-eating contest regardless of the grand prize. I might be convinced to go roach hunting (and permit others to do the eating) if the license is not too costly and the price paid for my roaches is high enough.
The store owner said that the roach-eater winner was very nice, adding that Edward was “the life of the party.” Not anymore. Ed dropped dead as he left the scene. Not sure if he had his python in hand. His roach-eating days are over. Recently the media announced that Ed died of suffocation. He tried to eat and breathe at the same time. He may have been nice but not too smart.
I suppose the winner’s family got his winnings: the snake. The world is crazy. Some people die on the battlefield, protecting freedom; others die on American streets trying to protect innocent citizens and apprehend the bad guys; still others die in pursuit of discovery of cures for exotic diseases and this guy dies after stuffing his mouth full of live roaches!
I remind you that people like Ed and the other contestants can legally vote for officials who run our governments! Moreover, such people continue to contribute to the gene pool.
Maybe we can blame roach eating contests on the farce of evolution–their brains did not develop, consequently the roaches have larger brains than the roach eaters. That would explain many things.
I try to have a thought in each column for readers to ponder and gain from, in addition to being informative, instructive, and sometimes inspiring, with a touch of humor. The “take away” today is: Don’t cram your mouth full of live roaches and try to breath at the same time. It will be a “grave” mistake.
Furthermore, I found a good recipe for barbecued spotted owl breast with a tangy snail darter sauce that PETA followers might enjoy. Contact me at DBoysphd@aol.com for further information. Right now, I must return my tongue (that was placed firmly in cheek) to its normal position. There, that’s better.
Fact, Fraud or Faith?
by Don Boys, Ph.D.
Only an uninformed fanatic says that evolution or creation can be proved scientifically. Christians believe in creationism because we believe in the veracity of the Bible but we also have scientific evidence to support our position. In every debate I’ve had with evolutionary scientists, the arrogant, asinine accusation is made, “Well, evolution is scientific while creationism is religion.” Evolution is about as scientific as a voodoo rooster plucking ceremony in Haiti. Almost.