In a valiant effort to be fair and balanced, I found dumb statements made by Republicans that rival the Democrats’ dumb statements. After reading them, you will be shocked at how our resilient our Republic is.
Mark Twain rang the bell when he said, “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” Twain had it right.
Speaking of white people who were concerned about integrating public schools, President Eisenhower said, “These are not bad people. All they are concerned about is to see that their sweet little girls are not required to sit in school alongside some big overgrown Negroes.” Look for leftists to take down his statues and maybe even try to undo WWII!
President Gerald Ford shocked the world in a national television debate when he told us, “no Soviet domination [is] in Eastern Europe.” Of course, the world and especially the dominated Poles, knew that Poland was under Soviet domination. That may have cost Ford the election and inflicted us with Jimmy Carter.
President George W. Bush said, ”Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” Love is not part of a medical practice.
Bush said, “You bet I cut the taxes at the top. That encourages entrepreneurship. What we Republicans should stand for is growth in the economy. We ought to make the pie higher.” I’m not sure if a higher pie is a bigger pie or a better pie or maybe both.
Bush commented on public education saying, ”As yesterday’s positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured.” Well, childrens are important and must be taught how to speak and write good grammar.
The President stated, ”Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?” They isn’t.
Bush said, “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” Sure can.
He told a Chamber of Commerce group, “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” Bush never wanted for anything since he is a Bush.
”You cannot be president of the United States if you don’t have faith. Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial and the Civil War and all that stuff. You can’t be. And we are blessed. So don’t feel sorry for—don’t cry for me, Argentina. Message: I care.” George, will you repeat that?
”There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again.” Who’s on first?
Another Bushie: “The fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there’s jobs at the machine-making place.” True, when machines are made, it means there are jobs–at the machine-making place.
Speaking of enemy fighters in Afghanistan, Bush said, “And they have no disregard for human life.” No, Muslim extremists do have disregard for life.
During a Rose Garden news conference he said, “I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.” Oh my! North Koreans at the White House!
Bush had trouble with numbers when he said, “Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people.”
When discussing the economy and frozen credit markets Bush said, “This thaw took a while to thaw, it’s going to take a while to unthaw.” Sure it will. Everyone knows unthawing takes time.
Bush opinioned, “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” No sir, we’ll never stop.
As to his opinions, Bush admitted, “I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them.” I don’t either, George.
His dad H. W. Bush was not thinking when he said, ”For seven and a half years I’ve worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex…uh…setbacks.”
Bush declared, “Please don’t ask me to do that which I’ve just said I’m not going to do, because you’re burning up time. The meter is running through the sand on you, and I am now filibustering.” Say what?
He rightly declared, “I am not one who—who flamboyantly believes in throwing a lot of words around.” No, he was never accused of that.
Bush was really confused when he said, “I thought this guy was kind of dead.” Maybe like being kind of pregnant.
Bush prophesied, “I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.” No, I don’t think it took long.
Senator Ted Stevens said, ”The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes. And if you don’t understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it’s going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.” Yes, that’s the internet.
Vice President Dan Quayle forgot that he was not an astronaut when he said, ”Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.”
Dan said, “One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared.”’ Hold up your fingers and count, one, two, and three, then leave one standing. That’s one.
The Vice President said, ”What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.” Yes, a lost mind is a wasteful thing.
He declared, “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” Yes, I agree with that.
Quayle said, “Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.” Sure they do.
Dan opined, “The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.” Dan, you do live in this century. You and I lived in the same county in Indiana at the same time. Take my word for it.
Dan said, “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”
Quayle predicted, “The future will be better tomorrow.” Probably.
The Vice President said, “We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.”
Dan declared, “We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.” I know Dan wasn’t smoking those funny cigarettes, maybe on meds?
He asserted, “I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.” Dan, Republicans are part of the problem. A big part. So are Dems.
“I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.” Well, 148 miles almost qualifies as “practically.”
Dan keeps it going by saying, “It’s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.” Same as the State of Confusion.
Dan really came up with a good one: “A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.” Yes, one could say that.
Mr. Quayle said, “It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” I never thought of that.
Dan said, “[It’s] time for the human race to enter the solar system.” I think so.
Finally, Dan said, “I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.” That’s a lot to stand by Dan.
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld sputtered, ”We know there are known knowns: there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns: that is to say we know there are things we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” Donald, would you say that again?
Rumsfeld also sputtered again, “We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead.” Well, he can’t be wrong about that!
The Defense Secretary showed more mental confusion when he said, “I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started.”
Senator John McCain had some problems with geography when he declared, “We have a lot of work to do. It’s a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border.” The problem: the countries do not have a common border.
Governor Rick Perry also failed geography in the fifth grade as indicated when he said, “Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.” Make that Mexico, Rick.
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said, ”I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.” Say what? Arnold went back to his day job.
This gem from Texas by a congressional candidate: “That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it.” I think so.
The above leaders are not stupid people but they sure made senseless statements. Still others don’t realize how stupid they really are because they’re so stupid.
Boys’ new book Muslim Invasion: The Fuse is Burning! was published recently by Barbwire Books; to get your copy, click here. An eBook edition is also available.
Fact, Fraud or Faith?
by Don Boys, Ph.D.
Only an uninformed fanatic says that evolution or creation can be proved scientifically. Christians believe in creationism because we believe in the veracity of the Bible but we also have scientific evidence to support our position. In every debate I’ve had with evolutionary scientists, the arrogant, asinine accusation is made, “Well, evolution is scientific while creationism is religion.” Evolution is about as scientific as a voodoo rooster plucking ceremony in Haiti. Almost.