In 1904 the Dean of Woman at Northwestern University told women not to permit a man to touch her or hold her hand! Today universities are telling females how to be sexually promiscuous but be safe in doing so and how to inflict pain on themselves and others for sexual pleasure! In fact, most feminine studies teach a woman to swear, strut, swagger, smoke, and spit just like a man. Fact is, that’s also uncivil, unseemly, uncouth, and unchristian for a man! Yes, the times are a changing. But not me.
In the past 25 years I have been shocked by the looseness among Christian youth. They are very free with their hands in handling the opposite sex. They seem to hug everyone including the mailman. Their speech is suggestive and offensive, but then they are only repeating what they see and hear on television, movies, and recordings. Most of their pastors and parents are silent.
I decided very early in my ministry that I would never be alone with a woman, kiss, touch, or hug a woman who was not a member of my family. So I am not a hugger of females–or trees. Admittedly, my position may be a little extreme; however, I took the command of the Apostle Paul literally when he said in I Cor. 7:1: “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” Yes, he was speaking of people getting married during the distressing political circumstances that would come to Christians in the Roman Empire; however, I took it literally as a young man and I would do the same thing again! One thing is sure, if you don’t hug them, you won’t sleep with them.
The Orthodox Jews teach that youth should not touch each other until marriage. I think the Jews can teach modern Christians something. Of course, inappropriate touching is always preceded by evil thinking. Evil thinking is often prompted by what is seen. We should follow the example of the psalmist who wrote in Psalms 101:3, “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes.” (Could that apply to television shows, movies, and computers?)
II Tim. 2:22 warns us to “Flee youthful lusts.” Lust must be disassociated from attraction since attraction is a normal and God-given response to beauty. However, lustful men objectify the female until they assume “ownership” and do whatever they want with her, at least mentally. Many men assume the right to conquer her and touch, even take her body. To blame his vileness on the woman as many attempt to do, no matter how she is dressed, is stupid, silly, and strange. Blaming the woman is unreasonable, unfair, and unscriptural.
In Matthew 5, Christ revealed a new thought for mankind: if a man lusts in his heart, the sin of adultery has been committed. However, He does not place the blame on the woman but goes on to tell a man to (hyperbolically) pluck out his eye if it causes him an offense, meaning if he is caused to stumble. While that does not give permission for a woman to dress like a harlot (after all, if you dress like one, you cannot complain if some think you to be as you dress), it clearly removes the woman as justification for the man’s sin. Consequently, flee youthful lusts and be careful what you look at. Job 31:1suggests what men should do: “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?” With that thought is the understanding that if you don’t see the maid, you won’t be tempted to lie with the maid.
The extension of this thought is obvious: we must be careful what we see. Christians or even lost people who care about morality should not read salacious literature. Students should refuse to read books filled with obscenity and immorality that is presented as normal and acceptable. Porn on the Internet should be repulsed, modern movies filled with vulgarity and nudity should be refused, and most television shows should be rejected.
One of the most surprising, shocking, and stunning things to me is the caviler way modern Christians react to the culture: books, movies, television, recordings, etc. A deacon friend defended his watching filthy movies on cable television. He said that the nudity and vulgarity didn’t bother him. I did not believe him, nor do I believe Christians can watch Internet porn, modern movies, and television without being corrupted. As the first and second century Christian leaders preached about the theater of their day, “You watch adultery and learn how to commit it.” To say that filthy talk and immoral plots do not affect you is to gainsay the very philosophy of education.
The human mind has a capacity to slowly accept, approve, and act out what is observed. Of course, at first you are appalled at evil but you get over it. You no longer feel uncomfortable when you see a nude scene or a couple climbing into bed or same-sex immorality. Moreover, after hearing the dirty, four-letter words for a while, they nestle in your mine and come rather easily to your lips. In your innocent days, you would have been horrified but now, it is acceptable. After all, everyone you know has adjusted. First you find the vileness appalling then acceptable, then approving. Then comes anger when someone confronts you for that sin.
Recently we were with some folks when something traumatic happened that momentarily shocked all of us and a lady responded with a loud expletive. It seemed so natural. For a second after we realized that we were not in any danger, she embarrassingly said she was sorry for her vulgarity. I said that it was probably because of watching movies and raunchy television shows. Her reply was interesting and telling: “Well, that happens when you are around people who talk that way.” But my response is, “Why would they be around people who express themselves by cursing?” I thought about sending her a bar of soap. That worked in my generation.
It is not good for a man to touch a woman and I don’t want to be insensitive to where I think I have a right to handle the opposite (or the same!) sex. I’d rather be too narrow than too broad.
Copyright 2013, Don Boys, Ph.D.
Fact, Fraud or Faith?
by Don Boys, Ph.D.
Only an uninformed fanatic says that evolution or creation can be proved scientifically. Christians believe in creationism because we believe in the veracity of the Bible but we also have scientific evidence to support our position. In every debate I’ve had with evolutionary scientists, the arrogant, asinine accusation is made, “Well, evolution is scientific while creationism is religion.” Evolution is about as scientific as a voodoo rooster plucking ceremony in Haiti. Almost.